The Lightbulb and I Theorem

This theorem came to me once again during my field trip to Emerald Dream. I ran across a certain memory that took place on New Year's Eve. I stayed over at a friend's house. We decided to play through the whole night, but we could not last against the sleepy eyes and fell dead on the couch. During middle of the night, my friend woke up and told me that I could sleep better on the longer couch in another room. He and his girlfriend were sleeping on the couch beside me. At that time, I was half unconscious and could not interpret the signal, so I decided to disregard the "suggestion" and kept sleeping. Until this morning, I suddenly realized what he attempted to signal me. Pretty Slow, eh? Anyways, I did a little recollection of the number of times that I "exhibit " as a 300 Watt light bulb; the result was rather staggering. Upon such alarming observation, I decide to formulate a function that describe how Shiny a light bulb can be.

B(I) = ∑ F(f,t)*k*I

B= Brightness, F(f,t) = Friend's date with frequency and time
k = Universal good guy constant, I = Mr/Miss Light Bulb Variable

Note: For those with western background, being a light bulb in a couple's date is the same thing as being the Third Wheel. Hopefully, I did not get the saying wrong.

Many of you may wonder why I put "k*I" inside the summation. From my numerous experiences in the last few years (Yes, I am an artisan Light bulb), I found out that one can improve the power and efficiency of the light bulb as the amount of dates intruded increases. For someone like myself, I can even be a light bulb when I sleep. This mastery of light bulb proficiency is rarely achieved.

If I were to seriously calculate my Brightness, I believe I posses the power equivalent to a Nuclear Powered Reactor .

What's Yours?

ps. just of the record, most of those light bulb appearances were unwillingly participated by me. I don't know how, but I always end up being the light bulb when my friends asked me out. I am the poor victim here!!